NHS coffee machines - made of fail

[suzie_shooter]

*successfully procure coffee for colleague*
*put second cup under spout, press button*
*wait for something to happen*
*eventually realise read-out says 'low water, out of use'*
*move to second machine, which says the same*
*move to third machine*
*hear whirring, look round to discover first machine is now dispensing required coffee into the drain grille*
*position cup in centre of grille and press button on third machine*
*move cup forward so it's actually under the stream of coffee pouring down the front of the cup*
*wait as /slowest machine in the world/ dispenses a tiny trickle of coffee until cup is half full, then stops*
*stare at machine, realise hot water top up is now pouring down the /back/ of the cup and missing entirely*
*fail to move cup in time*
*glare at machine, press hot water option, risk third degree burns retrieving cup after just enough water is added*
*finally get to drink coffee*